It’s the biggest environmental disaster in American history. For 87 days, crude oil had been spewing into the Gulf of Mexico from that blown-out undersea BP well-head. It’s beyond grim. And you’re on the cusp of maybe – just maybe – fixing it, through yet more complex engineering manouvres. But first they had to pressure-test the channel. How best to communicate that to a general public audience? Enter retired U.S. Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen, the Obama administration’s point-man on the spill, who found himself the most widely-quoted person on the file when he used a simple yet crystal-clear analogy to explain the procedure. “It’s like putting your thumb over a garden hose,” he said. Bingo. We all get that. Slip your thumb over the end of the hose, pressure builds up like crazy – and, as a result, any little holes further back in the hose are suddenly apparent. In our Media Coaching and message development work, we always extol the virtues of a tidy analogy to make the complex suddenly simple. Touchdown, Admiral Allen.

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Some things just can’t be spun. You got somewhat of a bye the last time you were caught spewing sexist, racist, anti-Semitic bile … not this time, Mel. Announce that you’re going into intensive counseling? Fund a series of women’s shelters? Make a massive donation to racial co-operation efforts? He should do all of that – Lord knows he needs it – but it won’t help save his image. Stick a fork in that shrimp on the barbie … he’s done.

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As a former political press secretary, I can tell you: this is the stuff that makes your blood run cold. Once, in the middle of an actual election campaign, I had to explain to the traveling press corps the utter absence of the boss’s bus for the first leg of one particular road day, after an overnight mechanical incident while in the hands of well-intentioned minders the night before. Good times. So I felt for federal Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff and his “Liberal Express” road crew this week, when on day one – DAY ONE – of his man-of-the-people tour, his bus went ka-blooey and broke down en route to an event. Stuff happens, especially on the road, and we at TD&F are always careful to put that stuff aside and instead look not to the incident itself, but to the communications thereof: and it’s a Touchdown for Iggy. He did all one really can in such a less-than-perfect alignment of the stars, namely, he laughed it off. He said he knew the media would find every possible way to link the transmission problem to his broader image, but added “Sometimes a bump in the road is just a bump in the road. It’s not a metaphor for anything.” Then, he quickly bridged into noting that by getting into a bus and getting out there among the masses, he was doing exactly the kind of thing that his nemesis, Prime Minister Stephen Harper, generally doesn’t. A nice bit of what I like to call “communications judo” – using one’s opponent’s weight back against him.

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Bob Reid has been a journalist and media advisor to a former Ontario Premier. He now is the chief media strategist and principle media coach in the Corporate and Public Affairs practice at Veritas.

Apple’s iPhone4 certainly looks good, but the controversy over the new model’s allegedly faulty antenna design has turned downright ugly. And maybe therein lies a lesson for the darling of the technocrat set. As soon as the new phones went on sale after their June launch, a litany of customer complaints came in that the darned things just didn’t work right – the reception dropped whenever you covered a certain portion of the phone with your hand. First, the company told customers that, basically, they were holding the phone in the wrong way. (Patient to doctor: “It hurts when I walk.” Doctor to patient: “Then stop walking.”) Then, Apple laid the blame on a software error that made the on-screen reception level indicators make the signal look stronger than it actually was – and that this was a problem on all iPhones from the beginning. That’s an explanation you might think is so unflattering to the product quality protocols at Apple, it must be true. But not according to Consumer Reports, which has challenged Apple’s explanation and has alleged the fault lies in bad hardware. Meanwhile, the Wall Street Journal cited “people familiar with the matter” in a story that claims Apple knew about the signal glitch before the iPhone 4’s release. The subtext of the WSJ story is that the decision to go forward anyway was based on Apple’s (and CEO Steve Jobs’) love of its design, whatever the performance problems. If that’s the case, it might explain the company’s apparent reluctance to admit a mistake – after all, great design is where Apple lives, right? But if so, that’s misguided. For consumers, Apple’s design excellence is a proxy for quality. Without that perception of quality, all the great design in the world won’t protect the brand. For any company facing allegations of shoddy products, the key is first to be seen to take the complaints seriously, then to be seen to be doing something to find out what’s wrong, and then coming up with one – and hopefully only one – fix for it, even if that means a product recall. By those measures, mighty Apple has fallen down to earth.

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My colleague Bob Reid and I were talking about the pride of Ladysmith, BC the other day (I had the hardship posting once of having to interview her during her Baywatch days), and both of us agreed that despite the, um, contortions her career has taken over the years, Pamela Anderson has displayed remarkable savvy in managing her personal brand. After all, how many sex symbols can rival her for sheer longevity and continued notoriety? Then, as if someone was listening to us, Anderson unveiled (or tried to unveil) a provocative new campaign for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), her favoured charity. The ad depicts a bikini-clad Anderson tattooed in the style of a butcher’s chart – with parts labelled in butcheresque terms like “breast,” “round,” “rump” and so on – under the headline, “All animals have the same parts.” Anderson’s plan was to launch the campaign in front of City Hall in Montreal, where she’s appearing at the Just for Laughs comedy festival. Mais non, said city officials, who judged the poster too sexist and racy for a public unveiling (which, of course, played right into Anderson’s hand.) She remarked (not without some merit) on the irony of being “banned” in Montreal – a city renowned for its palaces of pole dancing, among other pulchritudinous pastimes. But more to the point the banning got national and international media play for the ad, garnering her and her cause far more visibility than they ever would have enjoyed otherwise. Just luck? Or really smart PR? It’s a question that applies equally well to Anderson’s entire career as it does to the PETA ad dustup. Touchdown, Pam Anderson.

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Joe Chidley has served as the editor of Canadian Business Magazine for over nine years. He is now the senior vice-president of Veritas and oversees the Corporate and Public affairs practice.

Isaiah Mustafa likely didn’t know where his role as the “Old Spice Man” was headed when he shot his first commercial for Old Spice deodorant. As you’ve no doubt seen, the Old Spice Man has had an explosive week. Leveraging real time content, online influencers and some interesting commentary from online conversations, Old Spice has managed to achieve over five million impressions this week online. Building on the success of the “I’m On A Horse” commercial, Old Spice took a leap. Old Spice engaged a group of agency copywriters and social media folks to produce one-minute videos directly addressing people online, focusing on those with Twitter accounts. Producing on average one video every seven minutes for two days, Old Spice took the advertising world by storm in real time. Often spoken about, but infrequently done by brands, real time personalization was the key for this campaign. Old Spice targeted everyone from celebrities like Alyssa Milano to folks with as few as 100 followers online, going so far as to facilitate an engagement! This is a great example of aligning with a client, producing real time content and engaging consumers in a way that we haven't seen done quite like this before. Against all odds, Isaiah Mustafa is now an iconic brand image that has created huge waves online and won’t soon be forgotten.

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Sean McDonald has served as a communications consultant for more than five years and is an expert in social media integration. He is now an account director working across the Veritas Group supporting Commotion, Corporate and Public Affairs and Integrated Health Communications.